Navigating Peer Pressure

By: Lexi Nass, LCSW

Have you have ever experienced a time where you felt pressure to do something because of something you saw, because others told you to do it, or because you thought it was the norm? Peer pressure is very common, especially today, where social media can create exposure into the everyday lives of others. Social media posts are often just snippets of time and not actual representations of how others live. These unrealistic expectations of life can create societal pressures to keep up with others and cause pressure to conform to what we feel are “societal norms”.  

Pressure can be experienced in many different forms; it may be from friends pressuring you to go out at night, trying drinking or drugs, or even participating in certain events because it can create a feeling of needing to “fit in”. You also may experience pressure to buy something, like clothes or shoes. The pressure of keeping up with milestones in life such as dating, getting engaged, getting married, or having children is also very common. 

Oftentimes, the feeling of pressure comes from a natural response to compare ourselves to others. In life, the experience of pressure to fit in, or engage in an activity is very common. However, by focusing on YOU, rather than comparing your life to someone else’s, will allow you to feel more in control of your life and your future. When thinking about your own personal experiences with peer pressure, it’s important to recognize that everyone is different and goes through the notions of pressure differently. Peer pressure can be both positive and negative. If you are ever in a situation where you feel like you may be pressured to do something here are some tips that could be helpful:

Think about how a situation may affect you: it’s important to consider the time, place, people you’re with and especially how you’re feeling in that moment. Think about how it will impact you, if at all, and make a decision based on those factors.

⁃ Believe in yourself and trust your instincts. Do what you want to do, rather than making decisions based on what you think others may want you to do. 

⁃ Practice saying “No”: Saying no to things you don’t want to do can empower you to stick to what feels good for you and normalize that it’s okay to say no.

⁃ Stick to your values and beliefs: It’s important that when making decisions you feel like you are aligning them with your own personal values and beliefs. Surrounding yourself with others that have similar values may allow you to feel more comfortable when making decisions because they may understand you and your decisions. 

⁃ Recognize your feelings: Consider how certain situations, decisions, or circumstances are making you feel. Ask yourself: How do I feel in this moment? Do I feel at ease and ready to take action? Or do I feel uncomfortable and pressured? Doing this will allow you to feel more confident and sure about the decisions you make.

⁃ Create a plan ahead of time: If you’re going into a situation where you know you may feel pressured to partake in a certain activity or pressure to agree to do something, creating a plan ahead of time will allow you to feel mentally and physically prepared. Your plan may entail calling someone specific when you feel uncomfortable, texting a code word to someone to help figure out situation or even writing down a script of what to say in that moment.

If you are struggling with holding your boundaries around peer pressure, reach out to us today to learn more about how to avoid feeling pressured to do certain activities at hello@upsidertherapy.com. We can’t wait to hear from you!