Tips on Boundary Setting While Socializing and Dating During COVID
By: Elizabeth Koblenz, LMSW
As we start to turn – what looks like – the corner, into a less restrictive time, we can begin exploring what it feels like to go on a date again or to go out with friends with little to no restrictions. Now that vaccines are more readily available, people are starting to feel more comfortable with going out and meeting “strangers” again, hoping to find love and a connection. Limited socialization and communicating through our computers during COVID-19’s quarantine may have posed a new challenge when it comes to socializing in person. For some, it has become a bit too comfortable and familiar to stay home and Zoom or FaceTime. As a result, it is not uncommon to feel anxious to go out or meet someone new. It can be challenging to get back out there and immerse yourself into a dating or socializing scene again. When planning your outings, it is important to set boundaries so you do not overwhelm yourself.
When going out, you may be faced with some questions of safety. It is important to assert yourself and advocate when necessary.
TIP: It is okay to ask your friends or the person you are going out with if they are vaccinated. If they haven’t been vaccinated yet, it is also totally fine to ask if they have tested negative before seeing them. This is new territory for everyone! Do what feels right for you. If it helps, try writing out your questions before you hang out, that way you don’t have to worry about forgetting them!
When diving back into a social scene, it is possible to find that it is hard to kick off a conversation. Take some time to think about the stories or experiences that you had gone through over the last year. What were some of the activities you did during quarantine? What has changed with your family, career, yourself? What are some things you are looking forward to? Some of these questions can help be conversation starters.
TIP: Don’t forget to be yourself! It took us a long time to acclimate to social distancing and staying home so it is only right that it will take us some time to get back into the swing of socializing, meeting new people, and putting ourselves out there again. Everyone is likely to feel a little uncomfortable or awkward at first. Be proud of yourself for getting back out there!
Most people you encounter will be excited to be out again, which can help make it easier to meet new people. However, feel free to say no if you aren’t feeling up for it.
TIP: If you start to feel overwhelmed by too many plans, it is okay to say no! Saying no can be empowering and it is important to conserve your energy for those important moments and plans.
Start slow and do what makes you feel most comfortable! Set boundaries and create a social schedule that will make you excited to go out, not anxious. If you start to feel overwhelmed by post-pandemic life and feel that the anxiety is interfering with life, it can be helpful to get professional help. We are here to help!
Reach out to hello@upsidertherapy.com today to learn more about how to ease social anxiety and learn coping skills to feel empowered so that you can live a more fulfilling life.