By: Elizabeth Koblenz, LCSW

It may be difficult to grasp, but friendships may not always last forever. You may have had that big group of friends when you were younger that made a pact to be friends forever. Although you may have hoped this would be the case, it is important to reassess how your friendships truly are. You may still be very close with a friend or a group of friends, but how have they changed and why?

As we get older, it can be more difficult to maintain the same relationships we once had with our friends. Oftentimes, changes in friendships occur due to a move, having new and different interests and hobbies, or it can be due to something as simple as not being able to keep in touch as often which can cause the friendship to naturally fade, which is also common. You may also find that you are focusing on certain friendships that have been around due to comfort and the history you once had, rather than focusing on friendships who make you feel happy and supported. A friend's purpose that they may have historically served you in many ways, may not serve you any longer. While it is common and totally okay for relationships to change, it can be a hard adjustment at first. Here are ways to find comfort amidst changes in your friendships:

Take Time to Think

1. Take time to think about why the friendship has changed in the first place and what you are looking for in your friendships. Everyone is at a different stage in life, which is okay. Maybe your friend is preoccupied with school, long days at work, or a new addition to the family. Maybe you are more focused on your career and your success than on your friendships. We can’t do it all and it is important to prioritize what your focus is and what you want.

Friends Change

1. Some friendships are not meant to last forever and that is okay. Friendships change over time, and honestly, you probably have, too! As we continue to move through different roles in our lives, our sense of who we are also changes. These changes in friendships may happen naturally without any conflict happening. It is okay to create space in relationships without having any conflict. Perhaps these friends will be around again in the future.

Be Grateful

1. Practice being grateful and take time to acknowledge the positive aspects in the strong friendships that you do have. It can be difficult to remember that what is important is not the quantity of friends that matters, it is the quality of the friendships that are important. Friendships that are strong will withstand any circumstances of moving to a new city, working long hours, or starting a family. Take time to practice gratitude towards those friendships by reaching out a little more often or making plans to see each other on a more regular basis!

It can be helpful to process these emotions because change can be hard! If you feel like you are struggling with changes in friendships and want to talk further, please reach out to us today at hello@upsidertherapy.com.