By: Elizabeth Koblenz, LCSW

Do you feel generally unhappy and want to feel a sense of happiness? Do you know what it is that is causing you to feel this way? It can be helpful to ask yourself a chain of challenging questions such as “Am I happy at work?”, “Are my relationships causing me to feel unhappy?” and “Am I taking enough time to reflect on what is going on in my life?”

Our day-to-day choices and behaviors influence how we feel about ourselves both emotionally and physically. The big moments in our lives are important but the small day to day routines can shape our daily happiness. If you are ready to find happiness and take control of these unhappy thoughts, here are tips to start making healthy changes:

1. Create a plan: This can sound hard and daunting at first but once you take a step back and write a plan for yourself you may find yourself to feel better. It is helpful to list out steps that you can take to improve your happiness. For example, if you are unhappy in your job, you can create actionable tasks for yourself. These can include finding time to apply for new jobs, speaking to your manager at your current job and giving yourself a deadline to do these tasks. Even just taking the beginning steps of planning with the intention to make a change can help you feel better.

2. Spend time with the people you love: You may be caught up with work and life and find yourself having little to no downtown to spend time with people you love. Make time for this. Making plans and setting a date on the calendar can help feel like an immediate relief. It can be exciting to have a plan to look forward to! Prioritize making plans a few times a month if you can.

3. Remember, having a bad day doesn’t mean you are unhappy: Try to remember that everyone has bad days here and there. Oftentimes, feels can overlap and it can cause confusion. Differentiating facts versus feelings in situations like this can help better understand how to take control of these moments. When you have a bad day, think of things that you can do that may lift you up. Try calling a friend, cooking your favorite meal, watching a show you love or reading a good book. You can turn your bad days around!

4. Try to make improvements one step at a time: If you feel like there are a few things that are causing you unhappiness, start with the smallest thing that you can change first. This might be something as simple as taking out the garbage or even just making your bed. Starting with a tangible task will help you to feel in control and in turn, help you to then focus on the bigger issue that is causing you unhappiness.

Talking out these feelings can be beneficial and provide a lot of relief. If you want to talk to a professional about how you have been feeling lately, reach out to Upsider today at hello@upsidertherapy.com.