By: Brooke Phelps, LCSW

Treating ourselves as we would treat a friend is a great way to practice holding a standard for our own set of needs. Each time you successfully honor a commitment, it reflects your integrity, trustworthiness, and priorities. So, naturally, keeping promises to yourself is one of the most important opportunities to honor your worth and build self-confidence. As referenced in a previous blog post, keeping promises to yourself can help you feel empowered, goal-driven, and confident. The impact of even a small promise kept goes a long way, making it one of the most accessible and adaptable tools available to boost your self-esteem. Here are some strategies and ideas to consider in helping to set yourself up for success:  

1.     Be sure it’s a promise you want to keep: This may sound obvious, but be honest with yourself about what you actually want or care to do, rather than feeling ‘influenced’ or peer pressured.  Remember, this is for you, so be sure to commit to things you personally see as valuable and worthwhile. 

2.     Start small: Look for little ‘slam-dunks’ that you know you can and will easily achieve to boost your motivation. Whether it’s making the bed, going for a 10-minute walk, or even watching one less episode at night – turn anything into an opportunity to make and keep a promise to yourself and celebrate the little wins! 

3.     Set an intention: Ask yourself how you want to feel when you fulfill this promise. Productive? Brave? Lighthearted? Confident? Being intentional about how you want to feel makes the entire process more meaningful.  

4.     Put it on the calendar: When it comes to certain task-oriented promises, one of the biggest pitfalls may be the lack of time. Looking ahead at your schedule ensures you devote time to this activity and can help reduce the chance for other things to get in the way. Also, devoting time to plan ahead indicates you are invested in keeping this commitment, further increasing the likelihood of success. 

5.     Know yourself and use it to your benefit: Think about your energy and your values. For example, if your willpower is strongest in the morning, carve out time to yourself to do whatever it is before the workday begins. Or, if you thrive under pressure, sign up in advance for scheduled classes/activities, to ensure you prioritize your tasks throughout the day to keep this commitment. 

6.     Positive momentum keeps the ball rolling: Making and keeping promises to yourself feels good! Following through on the commitments you make to yourself is rewarding and motivating. If you notice you are feeling stuck in some area of life, remind yourself of past achievements. Starting by setting small, achievable goals for yourself may give you the boost you need to tackle the tougher things.

7.     Treat yourself the way you treat others: If you would not break a promise to a friend, why would you break a promise to yourself? The relationship you have with yourself is the most important one, after all! 

If you want to discuss other helpful strategies to boost self-confidence that best fit your individual needs, please reach out today to hello@upsidertherapy.com to learn more!