By: Elizabeth Koblenz, LMSW

When your child comes home from school it is common for them to not want to talk about their day. Did they have a good day? Learn something new? Did something unfortunate happen? Some children enjoy talking about school but others may find it more difficult to open up about their day. Your child may have trouble speaking about their day, especially if they are experiencing bullying or struggling in a subject. 

Want to help your child open up about school challenges? Here are some helpful tips: 

1.     Ask open-ended questions such as: “What did you enjoy about your day?” “What was the most exciting part of the day?” Asking open ended questions allows your child to think deeper about what they experienced on that day. This will allow your child to provide information on the parts of their day that they want to share. 

2.     Ask subject specific questions. This is important, as your child may not remember what had happened in math class. By asking specifically about one class, they may remember something that happened. Also, if you know your child is having a tough time in a certain subject, you can start by asking simple questions about the subject. For example, you can ask questions such as: Did they learn anything new in the subject? Was their teacher helpful today? 

3.     If you have inside information, be honest and ask them about something you know about. Be open with them and judgement-free by asking questions and allowing them space to share. This will show that you are caring for them and being supportive. This is important so that your child knows you are on the same page as them and not going behind their back. It is important to emphasize that you are there for them with whatever they may be going through at school. Try to end the conversation on a positive note and highlight one of their strengths.

4.     Listen to your child when they are speaking. Sometimes children will start on one topic and jump to the next. Allow your child to speak about school at their own pace and provide them the time to finish their thoughts. They may end up discussing or opening up about something that you didn’t know was on their mind. This is a good place to explore using observation statements such as “I wonder…” or “I noticed that…”

5.     Ask them what they are looking forward to at school. It is always great to end the conversation positively. They may have something exciting going on the next day that they are eager to share with you. Some questions you may ask are: “What are you learning tomorrow?” “Do you have any projects or activities tomorrow?”

If your child has trouble talking about school, or if you would like to learn more about how to help your child explore their feelings surrounding school, give us a call today at 646-494-4878.