By Lexi Nass, LCSW

Many single individuals express a desire to meet someone but may find it challenging to enjoy the dating process. For some, the idea of dating can sound intimidating, and the fear of rejection can feel scary. However, dating can be a great way to meet new people and is also a way to practice putting yourself out there. If you are someone that is interested in meeting someone, but find yourself dreading the idea of dating, shifting your mindset around dating can be helpful.

Rather than dreading the idea of going on a date, try to reframe dating as an opportunity to do something fun during the week! Dating can be enjoyable and exciting, somewhat low-stakes, and without any high levels of pressure. It’s important to realize that not everyone will be your perfect match, and that is totally okay. Not everyone SHOULD be your perfect match! Dating allows you the opportunity to not only meet other compatible people, but also provides you the opportunity to learn more about yourself and what is important to you in a partner. And even if it does go badly, just remember that a weird or boring date makes for a funny story to laugh about or share with your friends. If you are someone that struggles with dating, here are some tips to help inspire and motivate you:

Be proactive: Take the initiative to introduce yourself to someone who catches your eye, give out your number to someone you think is cute, or ask a mutual friend to set you up. Say “yes” to more social opportunities. Remember, you won't know unless you try!

Pursue common interests: Whether you are meeting people online or in-person, it often feels more natural to bond and connect with someone who has similar interests. Engaging in conversations with someone who shares common passions or engaging in activities that you can both enjoy brings a sense of fun and excitement to the dating experience. To pursue common interests, seek out activities or events in NYC related to your hobbies and passions. For example, join different clubs, sign up for classes, or get involved with online communities. Another great resource to check-out is the app “meet up”, which allows you to meet with other like-minded individuals and engage in activities you find enjoyable!

Use dating apps: Think of dating apps as a way to get to talk to people without having to change out of your sweatpants and off of your cozy couch. Dating apps are a great way to meet new people without having the pressure of meeting in person. Having the opportunity to have a conversation with someone before going on a date allows you the time to decide whether you want to take the next step and accept a date (OR initiate a date!). There are also so many different dating app platforms that offer a variety of different features, so take some time to explore and experiment with a few different apps to find which meet your preferences and interests.

Take dating breaks when you need: Just because you are single, it does not mean you have to be ready or want to date. If you are feeling frustrated with dating or if you aren’t interested in dating at the moment and want to just focus on yourself, that is okay! It’s important to recognize when you need to take a break from dating and use this time to focus on you so that you can also enjoy the process. You can always re-download the apps or decide to put in effort at a later time. There will always be opportunities available to meet people when you are ready. Dating is meant to be fun and without pressure- it’s important to feel refreshed and not feel “burnt out” and to go into dating feeling energized and excited.

Approaching dating with a positive mindset and embracing new opportunities can help you enjoy the process and make the most out of your experience. If you are someone that struggles with putting yourself out there or wants to learn more tips on ways to enjoy the dating process, reach out to hello@upsidertherapy.com to schedule a consultation today!