Judging is something that mostly every one does on a subconscious level every day. Whether we are judging something general or judging someone on their outfit or on their choice, judgments come automatically. Automatic negative thoughts are called cognitive distortions, which is part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Cognitive distortions are automatic negative thoughts that can drive our decisions and thought processes every day. One of the most common cognitive distortions people experience is one called “comparison”. Comparing ourselves to other is almost like an innate way of thinking and surviving. For example, it is common for someone to base a judgement off of a decision in reflection to what they would or would not have done in the situation. 

Through CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), you can learn how to recognize judgmental thoughts and learn how to acknowledge them, accept them, and reframe them. With practice, these thoughts will learn to come but not stay, and you will learn how to change your behavior based on your reframed thought. We are only human- it is okay to have these thoughts! Here are some steps that you can take to help recognize these judgements and change them for the next time:

1.    Look at the facts! If you have a judgmental thought arise, evaluate the situation. Perhaps there are certain reasons that someone else acted a certain way, made a certain choice, or dresses a certain way. 

2.    Take a step back. It is very easy to pass judgment on others, but how would you feel if that judgement was passed onto you? Take a step back and try thinking about how it might feel for someone else to pass the same judgement on you.

3.    Become aware of the negative thoughts that you are having. This is the hardest part! However, once you start recognizing and training your brain to reframe the judgements that you think about, it will start to become more habitual. 

It is what we do with our judgmental thoughts and how our behavior reflects them that is important to consider. To learn more about how to help recognize and stop a negative, unwanted thoughts, or to hear more about how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help you or your child, contact us today at Mia@UpsiderTherapy.comor (646) 494-4878